I've been making a point at this, the beginning of my journey to get healthy and happy, to start by accepting where I am. I look at the roll on the stomach and the bulk on my thighs and instead of thinking "I hate myself, how did I ever let myself get to here?" I've been replacing it with "I'm doing a good job, and if I keep it up this will get so much better with time." My thighs may not look thinner, but I try not to focus on how they look but how they feel. They're firmer, stronger, a little less jiggly. When I'm working out I'm not focusing on the perfect bodies around me saying "I wish I could look like them." I'm saying "You're doing the work. You're getting healthier. And you're going to look and feel great."
So this is for us women who are bombarded with images of "perfect", air-brushed women... you know, the women who's jobs are to look good. Don't look at them anymore! They are not you and you are not them. Be the best possible version of yourselves and accept you for you! Take control of the things you can control and let go of the things you can't! Hating yourself into being thin is not the way to go. Love yourself into being healthy!
We are all better than we let ourselves believe we are. Most of those who truly know and love us would say the same thing, so it's time to believe the nice things, forget the nasty things, and accept our wonderful selves!
- Stop negative self-talk immediately. While you
still may not like what you see in the mirror, Martz says, learning to
describe yourself with neutral, objective phrases can help stop the
cycle of poor self-esteem. So, instead of saying to yourself "I have
really ugly thighs," think "My thighs could use some work."
- Find and focus on the things you like about your looks.
It's best not to link your looks to your self-esteem, but with body
image so intimately entwined with self-image, that can be hard to do.
The next best thing is to find something about your image you really
like. "It can be great hair, great nails, terrific teeth. Find the
things about yourself you can say something good about, and every time
you look in the mirror, go there first and say something positive to
yourself," says Martz.
- Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you show your best friend.
"Would you respect and care about a person who says about you what you
are saying about yourself? If the answer is no, then begin treating
yourself at least as well as you are treating others in your life," says
May.
- Say what you mean. Sometimes, hating your thighs is all about wanting thinner thighs.
But sometimes, Kaufman says, negative body thoughts are a way of
expressing discontent over other issues in your life. Learn to decode
these messages, she says.
- Dress the part. If you're
putting off buying new clothes until you like your body better -- don't.
Whether you're bursting at the seams in duds that are too tight or swimming
in over sized clothing to hide your body, you are eroding your
self-esteem. "Buy what fits you, and look the very best you can. It
sends a powerful message to yourself that you are worth it," says
Aronowitz.
- Recognize that people naturally come in different shapes and sizes, and cherish your body's uniqueness.
And, Martz says, remember this: "Only 2% of the world's women fall into
the supermodel category. That leaves a lot of room for the rest of us!"
“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” -Colin Powell
"Yours is the energy that makes your world. There are no limitations to the self except those you believe in."
~Jane Roberts
"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
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