7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I've read the book before... it currently resides on my bookshelf.  My high school health class actually used 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens as a textbook, which I thought was awesome!  But I recently ordered from Amazon a lecture given by Stephen R. Covey on his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it came today.  I had to work from home this evening (after already working 10 hours at work) and figured it would be nice to listen to something uplifting while I was plugging away.  It took me 2 times through the CD to finish what I had to complete.  When I logged out of work and closed out my company's network I felt an urgency to listen again, this time taking notes.  I am one of those people who need to write things down to solidify information, even if I never look at that piece of paper again.  For some reason the simple act of writing it down helps.  So I did.

He says it over and over again: these are basic principles that most of us already know but few of us practice.  They're simple to understand because they make sense, but applying them to our lives is something completely different.  It's not a quick fix.  It requires a change in us to occur and lets face it... how many of us ACTUALLY like change?  I may like to change the pattern of my bed sheets or the color of my hair, but how open am I to a real and lasting change of character?  It sounds great!  If someone could create a pill that would change my character for the better I'd take it right now, this instant.  Oh, but wait.  I actually have to work for this?  It might take a couple years?  I have to do something different than I currently am doing?  Never mind.

For those of you who are not familiar with this book, it's a holistic, principle-based approach to solving personal and professional problems.  Meaning, the principles learned in it can be applied to almost any aspect of your life, from work, to family, to that guy driving behind you so close you're sure you can smell his breath!  It gives you step-by-step habits to cultivate to bring you back on track, both personally and professionally.

It all starts with a paradigm shift, the way you view your world.  By reshaping your perception of your role you can actually change that world, YOUR world.  Our interpretation of our surroundings and our attitude shape our behavior.  If this is true, then our attitude and outlook shape our habits.  And habits shape who we are are, produce our contribution to this world.  Change your attitude, change your world. 

I won't go into the whole thing because A) I would be long-winded, even more so than usual, and B) I think you should read it yourself if you haven't already.  Or at least order the audiobook off Amazon or something.  Simply going online and reading each habit and maybe a quick summation of each will not give you the tools necessary to do the job.  You may find a jumping-off point, but I really think in order to get something out of it you need the explanations, examples, and exercises he gives in the book.

In conclusion, I'm going to recommit myself to these principles, starting with Habit #1: BE PROACTIVE.  I'm going to focus on taking responsibility (the ability to choose my response) for my behaviors.  To act, not be acted upon.  To acknowledge that while there may be factors that make my life more difficult like genetics, conditioning, or my environment, I can still choose to not allow them to control me.  I will not REact, I will take control.  I have the ability to choose my own happiness and effectiveness.  I can choose joy or misery.  I hold all the cards to mold my own character and change my world.  

Whenever I find myself getting upset I think of this illustration.  If there is a part of the problem that is within my control than it is my duty to take that control.  Whatever portion of it is not within my control, I need to let it go.  I empower myself by taking control where I can, and generally this new found power makes letting go of the rest much easier.

One Step at a Time

My happiness project for February is not going perfectly.  It is not going swimmingly, flawlessly, without mishaps or struggles.  But it's going.  I have not stuck with every aspect of it every day.  There have been days when I came home from work and wanted a cheeseburger, did not want to do a load of laundry, and the kitchen sink remained un-shined.  These days were not failures in my book.  Sometimes I had a legit good reason why the sink didn't get shined that day, like coming home from a 10 hour work day just to jump back in the car with my family to see Disney on Ice.  Totally not a wasted day although I accomplished almost nothing on my to-do list for the day.  And other days it was sheer laziness, or me choosing to do something else instead.  Sometimes, no matter how hard I tried, between work and kids and life things just did not get done.  This is life.

The point of this project is not to strive for perfection.  In fact, there's no way that I can remain happy and confident with myself when I expect perfection every minute of every day.  It's about awareness.  It's about improvement.  It's about progress. 

There have been a few days when I lay down in my bed at night (on time!) and looked over my day and was very proud of myself.  I did it all, I didn't get crazy about doing it all, and I felt satisfied and ready for a night's sleep to wake up refreshed to try all over again. 

The reason that all the points of The Happiness Project are called resolutions and not goals is because the word "goal" leads us to believe that there is an end.  That at some point you won't have to do this thing anymore because you've accomplished whatever it is.  But these resolutions do not have expiration dates.  They do not have days when they are no longer useful or when I've finally reached the finish line.  They are lifelong habits and rituals that I am trying to cultivate for myself, and these things take time.  Little by little, step by step I add them into my life. 

“Try and fail, but don't fail to try.” - Stephen Kaggwa

Anyway, my 2 year old is screaming in the shower because there is a hair on the floor... apparently this is the equivalent of having a serpent slithering in there with her.  So, I must be off. Don't give up, everyone.  Do your best, treat every day as a new beginning, take control of what you can, and let the rest go. 

February Resolution: Boost Energy- Day #1

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind." -Christian D Larson


Today kicks off the first day of the first month of my Happiness Project (http://www.happiness-project.com/).

February's resolution is "Boost Energy", physically and mentally.  My resolution breaks down into the following goals:

1) FlyLady Baby Steps: http://www.flylady.net/ The Flylady baby steps are small habits that you build on everyday to get your home and schedule in order.  The first day, all you do is shine your kitchen sink before you go to bed.  Even if you take the dishes out of it, stack them on the counter next to the sink, and THEN shine it, you've completed this first step.  There's something about waking up in the morning to a shiny, clean, empty kitchen sink that just seems to make the day easier and lighter.  Go the site I posted and click on "Getting Started" if you're interested in getting going on your own Baby Steps.

2) Clear My Closets: This is about decluttering and reorganizing.  I feel more at peace when my closets are not only neat and tidy, but when I can find things that I need and don't have a bunch of junk staring at me whenever I open the doors.  Week 1 I'm doing the pantry, week 2 I'm tackling the front closet and linen closet, week 3 I'm attempting the children's closet (scary), and finally I'm doing my bedroom closet.

3) Go to Bed on Time: If I need to wake up at 5am and I need 8 hours of sleep, I need to be in bed and ready to fall asleep by 9pm.  This is a lofty goal considering 3 days a week I don't get home until close to 7pm, I have small children, I also work from home, and I have my household chores to take care of.  But I'm going to do my best.  Anything would be better than what I'm doing right now, I'm afraid.

4) Follow "One-Minute Rule": Don't skip any activity that takes 1 minute or less to complete, like hanging up my coat, refilling the toilet paper dispenser, and rinsing my dish to put it in the dishwasher.  By focusing on these little things that I probably don't even pay attention to doing (or not doing) I will help build better habits and also help eliminate clutter and excess work in my home.

5) 3 Days of Toning:  I'm doing Turbo Sculpt in the mornings on Tuesday, Friday, and Sunday.  I feel better when I do sculpting exercises.  I'm not going to worry about anything else exercise-related right now.  It's not about losing weight, it's about gaining energy.  I do not want to overload myself.

6) Follow Whole 30 way of eating: http://whole9life.com/category/whole-30/ I felt great when I was following this way of eating.  I felt happy and energetic and the little bodily ailments that held me back all but disappeared.  I've gotten off track with this and need to get back on.

7) 64 oz of Water each day: I just feel better when I'm properly hydrated and, again, have gotten out of the habit.  I have a 32 oz water bottle that I bring all over the place- 2 of those a day and I've reached my goal!

8) Do 1 load of laundry a day: Wash, fold, and put away 1 load of laundry every day.  That mountain of laundry that seems to get out of control every time I turn around makes me feel tired just looking at it.  By doing 1 load every day I will not feel overwhelmed, a mountain of clean clothes that I just don't have the energy to fold will not fill my bedroom, and eventually I will be caught up and maybe not even have to do a load a day.  This sounds like paradise to me.  :-)

So there it is.  It looks like a lot.  But when I took my week and broke it down, it really wasn't.  When I put it all down on a piece of paper and broke down each point of my resolution to it's day and time, it really wasn't much at all!  Drinking water and eating well aren't really time consuming.  The Turbo Sculpt is only 3 days a week for 45 minutes on my days off.  Shining my sink takes a couple minutes.  The washing machine and dryer do the work for me of cleaning the laundry, and folding and putting away 1 load's worth only takes about 15 minutes. 

I'm not expecting perfection.  But it's amazing what a little bit of awareness can do in changing habits.  When you focus on doing things a certain way you can build healthy habits, break bad ones, and notice obstacles that you may not have even realized were keeping you from doing things.  This project is about awareness and building good habits, a little at a time.

I'll keep everyone posted on how I'm doing with these.  I'm sure there will be days when a thing or two will slip by, but that's ok.  That's why I'm taking a whole month to do it. :-)