All or Nothing: A Road to Nowhere

“Change is not a process for the impatient.”

 Barbara Reinhold

I've said it before: I am an all or nothing person.  And the unfortunate truth is "all" is too hard for anyone to keep up, so an all or nothing person will burn out quickly with "all" and end up with "nothing".  But this process for me has been a paradigm shift to say the least.  Intellectually I have known, for a long time, exactly what it takes to be fit and healthy.  But I was impatient and always looking for the quick fix because I wanted my results NOW.  It's that 2-year-old mentality that my daughter displays constantly and I get so irritated with.  She has no concept of time yet.  So if I say "Later" or "Not now" or "You have to wait" she gets frustrated because, to her, that might as well be years from now instead of minutes.  The difference between the two of us is I HAVE a concept of time. I know that when someone says "Can it wait a few minutes?" that I just have to wait a short amount of time and try again.   And yet, when it comes to changing myself, I expect things right away or not at all!  This is crazy, very immature thinking.  Did I gorge on food for a week and suddenly wake up 50 lbs heavier?  No!  It was a slow process, so slow that I didn't even realize it was happening until it had already happened.  Why would I think that I could take it off any quicker than I put it on?

I bought a workout shirt a month ago without trying it on.  I eye-balled it and it looked about right.  I got it home and put it on... it was not about right.  In fact, it was SO tight I could barely get it off again.  I contemplated bringing it back and buying a larger size.  But instead I thought "My body will be changing soon... I'll keep it and see what happens".  I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning thinking that I really didn't see any change yet.  I decided to pull that shirt out of my dresser and give it a try.  And it fit... perfectly!  To the eye, or at least my eye, I did not see any change at all.  But my weight has gone down, my inches have gone down, and a once too-tight shirt now fits.  So obviously my eye is missing something.

This is why I feel it's so important to take measurements and figure out ways to track your progress with something other than a mirror or the opinion of others.  The last time I lost 20 lbs my husband didn't even notice it until he saw a picture of me before I had lost it.  He was floored because he didn't even notice I had changed, then again he witnessed the slow progression daily.  People who only saw me every couple of weeks definitely noticed.  Sadly, I put most of that weight back on over the next 6 months because I lost it all wrong and too quickly.

The problem is we see these before and after pictures on TV or on the internet.  We see this sullen, unhappy person on the left, and this vibrant, confident person on the right.  Sometimes we hear them talking about how much better they feel, how much happier they are. And we think "I want that!".  The thing we don't usually get to witness is the sweat, vomit, tears, aches & pains, tiny failures, missed workouts, bad eating days, frustration, and determination that went into creating that after picture.  We just see how it began and how it ended.  The middle part, what happens between before and after, is really what counts, and we don't get to see it!

That is one of the many reasons I created this blog.  I wanted to share my "between" with everyone (I know that doesn't sound right, but oh well).  I am determined to have that vibrant, confident "after" picture, determined to keep that picture as the new me for a long time to come.  But I also wanted to share the fears, sweat, set-backs, frustrations, and lessons learned with anyone who is willing to hear because it's only fair to see between the beginning and the end.   "Between" is where change happens.  It's like giving someone a list of ingredients and then a picture of what the dish should look like without measurements or the directions on how to put it together.  Probably wouldn't come out very good in the end and you'd end up tossing it in the trash. 

To all you all-or-nothing people out there, you need to change your perspective, and that will be a process too!  I still want the satisfaction of seeing quick results, but when I feel myself thinking this way I stop and remind Me that you're not looking for "quick" you're looking for "lasting".  And all good things come to those who wait... and sweat, and prioritize, and etc etc.  

“It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.”

 Ursula K. LeGuin

Week #3 Weigh-In!

This last week has been a real struggle for me overall.  My ankle has really put a damper on my physical activity.  I've been inexplicably tired, leaving me prey to bad eating.  But these are excuses... and there are no good excuses for bad choices.  The definition of "CHOICE" is an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.  I was faced with 2 or more possibilities all week: To eat or not to eat that pastry at work?  To sit on the couch reading or to go to the gym and ride the stationary bike or do a Pilates video?  Sometimes I made good choices, choosing my celery and peanut butter over those stupid brownies sitting right outside my cube for 2 days at work.  Or on Tuesday night when I could have easily just sat reading or watching TV and instead I went to the gym and put in a good 45 minutes of sweat inducing cardio and strength training. And other times I made not-so-good decisions, leaving me feeling like I'd cheated myself out of something.

What I'm trying to say is we become the choices we make.  Every day, every second we are faced with little and big choices in life.  We can choose to be offended by an absent-minded comment of a friend or we can choose to not let it bother us.  We can choose to fill our bellies with healthy fuel or we can choose to put nothing but junk in there.  We can choose to take a vow of sedentary living or we can choose to get off our butts and use our bodies the way God intended.  All these choices, which a lot of the time we're not even aware were choices, make up how we look at our day when lying in bed and taking an inventory of our accomplishments or lack thereof.  There definitely are instances where choices are limited because of disability or financial troubles, etc etc.  But even though the choices are limited, they are still there.  And it's up to us, and only us, to make the most of those choices and build a better life for ourselves and our families. 

This week I challenge all of us to pay attention to all the little forks in our roads.  To take notice of when we're making a choice and to ask ourselves "What is my motive behind this choice?"  When it comes to weight loss, this awareness is incredibly important because it forces us to analyze why we do things (or don't do things), gives us the opportunity to break habits and to ultimately start making smarter choices. 

Anyway, here are my results from this week.  Not terrible, progress was still made, but I'm left wondering how much more progress would have been made with smarter choices.  However, I will never know because it's already done.  The only thing I can do is to promise myself to do better this week and hopefully reap the rewards of a job well done.

 

“I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude.”

 

 

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

 

 

 

Creating New Habits

1. Commit to Thirty Days – Three to four weeks is all the time you need to make a habit automatic. If you can make it through the initial conditioning phase, it becomes much easier to sustain. A month is a good block of time to commit to a change since it easily fits in your calendar.

2. Make it Daily – Consistency is critical if you want to make a habit stick. If you want to start exercising, go to the gym every day for your first thirty days. Going a couple times a week will make it harder to form the habit. Activities you do once every few days are trickier to lock in as habits.

3. Start Simple – Don’t try to completely change your life in one day. It is easy to get over-motivated and take on too much. If you wanted to study two hours a day, first make the habit to go for thirty minutes and build on that.

4. Remind Yourself – Around two weeks into your commitment it can be easy to forget. Place reminders to execute your habit each day or you might miss a few days. If you miss time it defeats the purpose of setting a habit to begin with.

5. Stay Consistent – The more consistent your habit the easier it will be to stick. If you want to start exercising, try going at the same time, to the same place for your thirty days. When cues like time of day, place and circumstances are the same in each case it is easier to stick.

6. Get a Buddy – Find someone who will go along with you and keep you motivated if you feel like quitting.

7. Form a Trigger – A trigger is a ritual you use right before executing your habit. If you wanted to wake up earlier, this could mean waking up in exactly the same way each morning. If you wanted to quit smoking you could practice snapping your fingers each time you felt the urge to pick up a cigarette.

8. Replace Lost Needs - If you are giving up something in your habit, make sure you are adequately replacing any needs you’ve lost. If watching television gave you a way to relax, you could take up meditation or reading as a way to replace that same need.

9. Be Imperfect – Don’t expect all your attempts to change habits to be successful immediately. It took me four independent tries before I started exercising regularly. Now I love it. Try your best, but expect a few bumps along the way.

10. Use “But” – A prominent habit changing therapist once told me this great technique for changing bad thought patterns. When you start to think negative thoughts, use the word “but” to interrupt it. “I’m no good at this, but, if I work at it I might get better later.”

11. Remove Temptation - Restructure your environment so it won’t tempt you in the first thirty days. Remove junk food from your house, cancel your cable subscription, throw out the cigarettes so you won’t need to struggle with willpower later.

12. Associate With Role Models - Spend more time with people who model the habits you want to mirror. A recent study found that having an obese friend indicated you were more likely to become fat. You become what you spend time around.

13. Run it as an Experiment - Withhold judgment until after a month has past and use it as an experiment in behavior. Experiments can’t fail, they just have different results so it will give you a different perspective on changing your habit.

14. Swish - A technique from NLP. Visualize yourself performing the bad habit. Next visualize yourself pushing aside the bad habit and performing an alternative. Finally, end that sequence with an image of yourself in a highly positive state. See yourself picking up the cigarette, see yourself putting it down and snapping your fingers, finally visualize yourself running and breathing free. Do it a few times until you automatically go through the pattern before executing the old habit.

15. Write it Down – A piece of paper with a resolution on it isn’t that important. Writing that resolution is. Writing makes your ideas more clear and focuses you on your end result.

16. Know the Benefits - Familiarize yourself with the benefits of making a change. Get books that show the benefits of regular exercise. Notice any changes in energy levels after you take on a new diet. Imagine getting better grades after improving your study habits.

17. Know the Pain – You should also be aware of the consequences. Exposing yourself to realistic information about the downsides of not making a change will give you added motivation.

18. Do it For Yourself - Don’t worry about all the things you “should” have as habits. Instead tool your habits towards your goals and the things that motivate you. Weak guilt and empty resolutions aren’t enough.

Saturday Night Bites

I've had a tiring few days, physically and emotionally.  I had a VERY VERY late night last night.  I woke up this morning, forced myself into a workout, ate a wonderful egg white omelet with red pepper, broccoli, and salsa and 20 ounces of water.  I felt that I was doing quite well considering but felt the exhaustion kick in and decided to sit in a chair and read a book.

Before I knew it, the chocolate cravings swooped in.  I tried to ignore them, I tried drinking some water, but this little voice kept whispering in my ear..."choooocolaaaate..... chooooocolaaate...."  We had some chocolate rice cakes in the cupboard, reasonable carbs and calories.  I figured I'd have a few to tide over the craving.  This was mistake number 1.  I had had a wonderful, very filling breakfast... I did not NEED the rice cakes.  But I caved.  Mistake number 2?  I took the bag into the living room with me and began munching while reading my book!  Why would I do that?!  Always portion it out.  Always, always, always!  I'm not even sure how many I ate... too many.  Somehow I snapped out of my chocolaty-goodness-coma, closed the bag and put it down, resolute to make that the only slip up in my day.

Oh I'm ashamed to say that was not my only slip-up today.  In fact I had a carb-overload, enough-is-never-enough kind of day.  They were not all bad, but my body can only handle a small amount of HEALTHY carbs in one day.  I really truly over-did it.

(The above is a dramatization of today's events.  Names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent.)

This is the cycle that gets me in trouble every time.  I get emotionally and physically tired and the cravings seduce me into trashing my entire day, calorically speaking.  They whisper sweet nothings in my ear, tell me that they love me, and before I know it they've leached onto my stomach and thighs like a parasite, draining me of all self-control and esteem.  It's pathetic, really, that I allow myself to fall victim to this when it has never proved effective in the past. 

But that's what tomorrows are for.  I'm not saying that we should all eat, drink, and be merry because tomorrow we can erase it.  I'm saying it's too late to change what I've done today.  I've analyzed why it happened, made myself aware of my weaknesses, and am working on a counter-attack the next time those nasty cravings rear their ugly little heads.  This is what I can control.  I cannot change the past, but I can take control of my future.  Tomorrow is another day, another opportunity, a gift.

I will not beat myself up over today, it's over.  The sun has set, the cravings have been satisfied, and my mind is resolved to sleep on it and do better tomorrow.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely...”

 Ralph Waldo

Perseverance

"perseverance [ˌpɜːsɪˈvɪərəns]n1. continued steady belief or efforts, withstanding discouragement or difficulty"

My ankle is still hurting pretty badly. It was fairly swollen last night after a day of chores and errands.  I took it easy, though.  Rested from a traditional workout, wrapped the ankle, Ibuprofin, etc etc.  

However, this morning I decided that I needed to find a way to get around this new obstacle, burn some calories and tone my muscles.  I wrapped up my ankle and headed over to the rec center of my apartment complex.

I used the stationary bike (which I'm not too fond of because it puts my butt to sleep) on an interval setting, which meant it kept switching every few minutes between medium and high resistance.  I figured since my legs were doing all the work but my upper body was just kinda of sitting there to grab a couple 5 lb weights and do some arm and shoulder work while riding.  Yeah, I was really only able to work my arms during the periods of medium resistance as I was far too busy grunting and puffing during the periods of high resistance to think of anything but not keeling over.  But I finished it and didn't feel like my modification from my typical workouts left me wanting at all!  Win!

The lesson I've learned is that there are no excuses.  The important questions to ask yourself are "What do I really want?  And what am I willing to do to get it?"  Once you figure that out, it makes the rest so much easier.  Clear cut, reasonable goals... and perseverance.

"For the first time in a long time I can say  
That I wanna try.
 I feel helpless for the most part  
But I’m learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is 
I’ll never get over it,
But I’m gonna try  
To get better and overcome each moment 
In my own way."
-Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"

Week 2 Weigh In!

This week was a little bit of a challenge.  I was incredibly tired, did my workouts but not much more than that.  My diet was good and healthy, which helped.  But this morning I felt like I really need to step up my game with my activity level this week.

This morning I was running and I felt a little tightness in the outside of my ankle down to the outside of my heel.  I figured it was just because it was morning, I stretched it out for a minute and then continued.  However, the tightness turned into a stabbing pain and I eventually gave up running and walked the rest of the way.  When I got home I looked it up just to see if it was a common thing or what.  I'm not self-diagnosing and if it doesn't go away I WILL see a doctor.  But it sounds to me, based on location and symptoms, that it might possibly be Peroneal Tendonitis.  This worries me because I just started and was just beginning to make progress and now I'm having pain already.  I'll see what happens to it today and see a doctor if it doesn't get better.

So this week if I'm having heel pain still, I think instead of running I will do the stationary bike.  That way I can at least still get some cardio in and that motion doesn't seem to bother my heel.  Meanwhile, today, I think it's going to be ice and ibuprofin. 

Anyway, my weigh-in results from this morning:
 I think I'm alright with these, although I think they could have been better.  But progress is progress!  I'm moving forward, that is all that matters.  I'm overcoming obstacles and learning that I can do better than I was doing. 

Now to deal with this heel/ankle pain.  If anyone out there has experienced this before, please let me know.  I really truly hope it's nothing that a little ice and maybe some insoles for my shoes can't fix.  But we'll see.

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

 Mark Victor Hansen

Love is All You Need!

I've heard so many women, myself included, say that their lives would be so much better if they could just lose the weight, get a nose-job, get a tummy tuck, be a blonde, etc etc.  While it's important to be as healthy as you can, it starts from the inside and goes out.  Being thin can help with your self-esteem but it's not a cure for bad self-esteem and you will always be able to find things about yourself you don't like.
 I've been making a point at this, the beginning of my journey to get healthy and happy, to start by accepting where I am.  I look at the roll on the stomach and the bulk on my thighs and instead of thinking "I hate myself, how did I ever let myself get to here?" I've been replacing it with "I'm doing a good job, and if I keep it up this will get so much better with time."  My thighs may not look thinner, but I try not to focus on how they look but how they feel.  They're firmer, stronger, a little less jiggly.  When I'm working out I'm not focusing on the perfect bodies around me saying "I wish I could look like them."  I'm saying "You're doing the work.  You're getting healthier.  And you're going to look and feel great." 
So this is for us women who are bombarded with images of "perfect", air-brushed women... you know, the women who's jobs are to look good.  Don't look at them anymore!  They are not you and you are not them.  Be the best possible version of yourselves and accept you for you!  Take control of the things you can control and let go of the things you can't!  Hating yourself into being thin is not the way to go.  Love yourself into being healthy! 
We are all better than we let ourselves believe we are.  Most of those who truly know and love us would say the same thing, so it's time to believe the nice things, forget the nasty things, and accept our wonderful selves!

1. Stop negative self-talk immediately. While you still may not like what you see in the mirror, Martz says, learning to describe yourself with neutral, objective phrases can help stop the cycle of poor self-esteem. So, instead of saying to yourself "I have really ugly thighs," think "My thighs could use some work."
   
2. Find and focus on the things you like about your looks. It's best not to link your looks to your self-esteem, but with body image so intimately entwined with self-image, that can be hard to do. The next best thing is to find something about your image you really like. "It can be great hair, great nails, terrific teeth. Find the things about yourself you can say something good about, and every time you look in the mirror, go there first and say something positive to yourself," says Martz.
   
3. Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you show your best friend. "Would you respect and care about a person who says about you what you are saying about yourself? If the answer is no, then begin treating yourself at least as well as you are treating others in your life," says May.
   
4. Say what you mean. Sometimes, hating your thighs is all about wanting thinner thighs. But sometimes, Kaufman says, negative body thoughts are a way of expressing discontent over other issues in your life. Learn to decode these messages, she says.
   
5. Dress the part. If you're putting off buying new clothes until you like your body better -- don't. Whether you're bursting at the seams in duds that are too tight or swimming in over sized clothing to hide your body, you are eroding your self-esteem. "Buy what fits you, and look the very best you can. It sends a powerful message to yourself that you are worth it," says Aronowitz.
   
6. Recognize that people naturally come in different shapes and sizes, and cherish your body's uniqueness. And, Martz says, remember this: "Only 2% of the world's women fall into the supermodel category. That leaves a lot of room for the rest of us!"
   
    “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” -Colin Powell
   
    "Yours is the energy that makes your world. There are no limitations to the self except those you believe in."
   ~Jane Roberts
   
    "To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
   
   
   

Emotional Resilience

So, I'm starting to take care of my body, and I'm feeling a lot better in many ways.  However, my underlying emotional issues are going to continue to hold me back unless I know how to take care of them.  And they're going to keep getting in the way of my physical well-being, too!  I've decided that while I'm creating my buns of steel, I need to work a little on my emotions of steel, too!

I found an article on this subject that had some good pointers.  The article describes an emotionally healthy person having:

• A sense of contentment.
• A zest for living and the ability to laugh and have fun.
• The ability to deal with stress and bounce back from adversity.
• A sense of meaning and purpose, in both their activities and their relationships.
• The flexibility to learn new things and adapt to change.
• A balance between work and play, rest and activity, etc.
• The ability to build and maintain fulfilling relationships.
• Self-confidence and high self-esteem.

I really only have some of these things in moderation and others I seem to only have a pinch here, a dash there.  That's not right!  I should be enjoying my life!  What am I doing wrong?  Or what am I not doing right?

The article goes on to illustrate ways to improve your mental health.

"Physical Health is linked to Emotional Well-Being:

• Get enough rest. To have good mental and emotional health, it’s important to take care of your body. That includes getting enough sleep. Most people need seven to eight hours of sleep each night in order to function optimally.
• Learn about good nutrition and practice it. The subject of nutrition is complicated and not always easy to put into practice. But the more you learn about what you eat and how it affects your energy and mood, the better you can feel.
• Exercise to relieve stress and lift your mood. Exercise is a powerful antidote to stress, anxiety, and depression. Look for small ways to add activity to your day, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or going on a short walk. To get the most mental health benefits, aim for 30 minutes or more of exercise per day.
• Get a dose of sunlight every day. Sunlight lifts your mood, so try to get at least 10 to 15 minutes of sun per day. This can be done while exercising, gardening, or socializing.
• Limit alcohol and avoid cigarettes and other drugs. These are stimulants that may unnaturally make you feel good in the short term, but have long-term negative consequences for mood and emotional health."

That explains why I've felt a boost in my mood over the last week and a half.  Although I still have to work on getting enough rest.  Something to think about.

"Improve Mental and Emotional Health by Taking Care of Yourself:

• Do things that positively impact others. Being useful to others and being valued for what you do can help build self-esteem.
• Practice self-discipline. Self-control naturally leads to a sense of hopefulness and can help you overcome despair, helplessness, and other negative thoughts.
• Learn or discover new things. Think of it as “intellectual candy”. Try taking an adult education class, join a book club, visit a museum, learn a new language, or simply travel somewhere new.
• Enjoy the beauty of nature or art. Studies show that simply walking through a garden can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. The same goes for strolling through a park or an art gallery, hiking, admiring architecture, or sitting on a beach.
• Manage your stress levels. Stress takes a heavy toll on mental and emotional health, so it’s important to keep it under control. While not all stressors can be avoided, stress management strategies can help you bring things back into balance.
• Limit unhealthy mental habits like worrying. Try to avoid becoming absorbed by repetitive mental habits – negative thoughts about yourself and the world that suck up time, drain your energy, and trigger feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression.
• Appeal to your senses. Stay calm and energized by appealing to the five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Listen to music that lifts your mood, place flowers where you will see and smell them, massage your hands and feet, or sip a warm drink.
• Engage in meaningful, creative work. Do things that challenge your creativity and make you feel productive, whether or not you get paid for it – things like gardening, drawing, writing, playing an instrument, or building something in your workshop.
• Get a pet. Yes, pets are a responsibility, but caring for one makes you feel needed and loved. There is no love quite as unconditional as the love a pet can give. Animals can also get you out of the house for exercise and expose you to new people and places.
• Make leisure time a priority. Do things for no other reason than that it feels good to do them. Go to a funny movie, take a walk on the beach, listen to music, read a good book, or talk to a friend. Doing things just because they are fun is no indulgence. Play is an emotional and mental health necessity.
• Make time for contemplation and appreciation. Think about the things you’re grateful for. Mediate, pray, enjoy the sunset, or simply take a moment to pay attention to what is good, positive, and beautiful as you go about your day."

Well, probably not getting a pet anytime soon.... maybe a fish.  I do feel better when I'm playing the piano and singing. But I could definitely use some of these other little gems in my life.

"Connect With Others:

• Get out from behind your TV or computer screen. Screens have their place but they will never have the same effect as an expression of interest or a reassuring touch. Communication is a largely nonverbal experience that requires you to be in direct contact with other people, so don’t neglect your real-world relationships in favor of virtual interaction. 
• Spend time daily, face-to-face, with people you like. Make spending time with people you enjoy a priority. Choose friends, neighbors, colleagues, and family members who are upbeat, positive, and interested in you. Take time to inquire about people you meet during the day that you like.
• Volunteer. Doing something that helps others has a beneficial effect on how you feel about yourself. The meaning and purpose you find in helping others will enrich and expand your life. There is no limit to the individual and group volunteer opportunities you can explore. Schools, churches, nonprofits, and charitable organization of all sorts depend on volunteers for their survival.
• Be a joiner. Join networking, social action, conservation, and special interest groups that meet on a regular basis. These groups offer wonderful opportunities for finding people with common interests – people you like being with who are potential friends."

Now this is something that is a challenge for me.  As someone who was born trying to hide behind her mother's leg, I have struggled my whole life to overcome my innate shyness.  It's hard!  Anyone who doesn't have this particular set-back will never understand how debilitating and frustrating it can be!  I've gotten better since growing up and getting into the work force.  But socializing outside of work is a definite struggle for me.  It's easier to hermit.  But I would probably feel so much better if I got out and met new people and experienced new things with those new people.  That will be a challenge for me, but I think I can do it.

For anyone out there who is reading this post and feeling like they relate to the issues here far too well, I will also include a little warning they added at the end, in red... so it must be important.
   
Red flag feelings and behaviors that may require immediate attention:

• Inability to sleep.
• Feeling down, hopeless, or helpless most of the time.
• Concentration problems that are interfering with your work or home life.
• Using nicotine, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope with difficult emotions.
• Negative or self-destructive thoughts or fears that you can’t control.
• Thoughts of death or suicide.

If you are experiencing these things, please get help.  Mental health is no joke and having the above feelings are nothing to feel embarrassed about.  You are not the only one, and you are not alone.

Anyway *stepping off my soapbox*... I've been noticing a lot of people posting about stress, unhappiness, feeling tired for no reason.  And since I know those feelings well, I thought I would share this for anyone who is looking for a way out. 

"No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, & show up!"  And like my father-in-law used to say "Get up, look up, be up!"

It's a 5 O'clock world!

Home from work.  10 hours sitting at a desk, with a 25 minute brisk walk at lunch in the million degree heat to break it up.  Ugh... why does sitting for 10 hours tire me out more than a strenuous, active day?  I want so badly to exercise after work but I just feel fatigued and bleh...

I was thinking at work, and I've just decided to put my thinking into action.  I have a yoga ball that I recently re-inflated after the poor thing huddled folded in a dark corner of my closet somewhere for 2 years.  I have been doing a couple exercises with this here and there, but one especially has yielded some positive results.  So, I'm going to do some ab exercises tonight!  There, I'm putting myself back on the track and I can't jump off now cause I've already told you all I'm going to do it!  So there!......It was a long day today, I'm sorry.

1) Yoga Ball Tennis- it probably has a real name, but I like mine.  You lie on your back, pelvis in neutral position, arms over your head, legs straight holding the yoga ball between your feet.  Keeping legs and arms straight, raise arms and legs up until they meet, pass the yoga ball to your hands, than lower them (slow and controlled) back down.  Barely touch the ball to the floor then do this again, passing the ball back to your feet.  It may not seem hard, but try to do it 20 times.... go ahead, I'm waiting.

2) Knee lifts in Plank- again, probably has a real name.  I don't care!  Start in plank position making sure your butt is down, back is straight.  Keeping shoulders and pelvis still, bend right knee and bring it to your chest, then straighten right leg and repeat with left. 2 reps of 10 should be a good start.

3) Criss-Cross Bicycle- (I don't care!) Lie on your back, hands behind your head, knees to your chest.  Lift your head, straighten right leg to a 45 degree angle and touch right elbow to left knee.  Then straighten left leg, bend right leg and touch left elbow to right knee.  Slow and controlled.  2 set of 10.

4) Reverse Sit-ups- Lie on your back, lift legs straight in the air and cross your ankles, hands one the floor at your sides.  Now, keep your shoulders relaxed and lift your butt off the ground.  Slow and controlled!  Slowly lower butt back down to the floor.  2 set of 10.

So this is my ab work tonight.  I just made up how many reps I'm going to do so I may do more... I will do my absolute best not to do less! 

Get up, dress up, show up!!! 

Pilates Please!

This morning I woke up a little too late to go out for a run before Justin and Chris had to leave for Tee-Ball (I don't have a jogging stroller, and I've tried running with our regular one... not a good idea).  So I decided I was going to try out one of the new Pilates videos I bought over the last couple months.

I fell in love with Pilates when I was going to school for Massage Therapy (don't ask me to massage you, I did not complete my certification, haha).  My teacher used to begin each Massage lab with 30-40 minutes of Pilates to improve posture and core strength and reduce the chance of injury while massaging.  So 3-4 times a week I was doing Pilates.  I'd never done it before so it was really hard at first.  But after a few weeks I started feeling so much better afterward.  My mom asked me one day if I had had a growth spurt, which I hadn't, and we realized that my posture had improved so much that I actually looked an inch or so taller.  Not only did I look thinner, too (because of better posture), but my stomach was flatter than I'd ever been able to get it at that point in my life.  I felt strong and powerful and centered, it was great.  I continued it on my own even after I quit school.

When Justin was little little, an instructor was offering discount Pilates classes to Xerox employees and their families.  Since Chris was working there, I took advantage of the discount and joined the class.  It was six weeks 2 times a week.  My instructor was close to 70 years old.  He had been in the Marines, then came home and became a personal trainer.  Then 12 years before then had decided to become a certified Pilates instructor.  It amazed me watching this man bend and stretch and stand up tall the way he did, I'd never seen anything like it!  It was motivating and he was a great teacher.  I would be in the middle of a move and want to give up, but looking at him and then looking around the room at the people around me not giving up, I would push through the muscle fatigue and surprise myself by finishing the set.  It was great!  My muscle memory kicked in quickly, my posture and flexibility improved, and it was a great way to relieve the stress of my workday.

Since then, I have been searching for a good Pilates video to do at home.  The ones I have found are either more instructional so they don't run it like a full Pilates session, or they're trying to update and modernize and they lose the breathing and stretching that makes it so great!  Or, like one that I have, they go so mind-dumbingly slow that I don't feel I'm accomplishing anything and I feel like I'm spending more time waiting between moves than actually doing them.  And the problem is you can't really test-drive these videos before you buy them, so I have about 5 videos that are really not worth anything to me except the money I wasted to buy them.

What I would really love to do is get back into a class.  But between timing with the kids and work and price, I haven't found one that works for me yet.  I'm still looking.

Needless to say, I didn't do much Pilates this morning.  I took Lucy in our big, clunky stroller out for a long walk.  It is amazing, though, how much resistance a big clunky stroller and a 2 year old will add your walk!  However, I am still in search of a great Pilates workout video.  One that's not so easy that I feel nothing but not so hard that only dancers in the American Ballet Company could do it!

If anyone knows of such a video, please let me know!  Meanwhile, I'm going to do what I remember on my own with my yoga ball and Pilates ring... at least it's something.

Week 1 Weigh In!!

It feels like longer than a week ago that I started this blog.  I feel like I've covered a lot of ground over the last week, mentally at least, and I hope to keep making progress like that.  I'm realizing now that a lot of my previous failures actually set me up for success.  I really paid attention this week to how I was feeling when I noticed I was resisting and tried to figure out why.  Once I figured out why, it made it so much easier to push past it and overcome my fear, embarrassment, laziness, whatever it was. 

So after a good run (my stamina is already improved a little) and Turbo Sculpt this morning, I feel sweaty, happy, and proud of what I've accomplished.  To that end, my week one weigh in:

I feel pretty good about those numbers.  3 lbs down and an inch around my chest and waist gone, 1/2 an inch around my hips gone.  My muscles are starting to feel different.  My legs especially feel firmer, my stomach is a little flatter, my posture is improving.  I know if I continue like this, mixing up my workouts, trying new things, pushing myself a little harder every week, that those numbers will continue to drop, my energy and self-esteem will continue to rise, and I'll not only feel better about myself, but I'll be better for my husband and children.  Carving out this "me time" is hard, but I'm trying to overcome the guilt by realizing the benefits it will bring.

So, on to week 2 and all the realizations, overcome obstacles, and self-improvement it will bring!

"There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something."
-Henry Ford

A little motivation a la Mark Twain

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

 

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear”

 

“There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.”

 

“A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”

 

“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.”

 

 

 

 

Don't let the man.. er, kids.. get you down!

My lovely children gave me the opportunity to test my commitment this morning.

Last night, little Miss Lucy decided she wasn't ready for bed at her normal bedtime of 8pm and did not fall asleep until 10:30pm.  I put her in bed and then went to bed myself.  I was restless and had trouble falling asleep.  Sweet Lucy came into our room, we put her back to sleep and then back in her bed.  A short time later she came in again.  Again, we put her to sleep and put her back in her bed.  Very shortly after this Justin came into our room saying he had a nightmare and wanted to sleep in our bed with us.  So we had 3 restless people in a queen-size bed (that sounds like a nursery rhyme... "Three restless people in a queen-size bed, queen-size bed, queen-size bed... anyway).  Before 5am rolls around, guess who is standing at the side of my bed again trying to climb up?  You got it!  Lucy!  So I pulled her into bed with us, and the nursery rhyme continued.

Today is one of my days off from work.  Any other day off if I had had a night like that I would have hung around in bed a bit (not for too long, though; I DO have children), dragged myself out of bed, made breakfast, and then probably procrastinated until Lucy's nap time when I would sit down to put her to sleep and inevitably nod off myself.

However, this morning I dragged myself out of bed at 6:20, put on my sneakers, and went for a run.  It was hard.  I could feel the fatigue from the night before, but I pushed through it.  After a 30 minute run/walk, I went back to my apartment, and popped in my Turbo Sculpt video.  I completed the entire 45 minutes of squats and lunges.  I'm pretty sure I scared my children because I did yell at the TV a few times when the way-too-peppy lady made me pulse in a lunge position for what felt like an eternity and it felt like my thighs were ablaze.  They just stood there watching me, not sure what to think.  But I did it!  I finished it and I feel so much better this morning for it!

I overcame a few of my previous setbacks this morning:

1) I have a quote that I love that says "No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up!".  I think I did that this morning.  Instead of letting a bad night's sleep take my entire day from me, I took it back!  I did it anyway, and I do feel so much better even though it was challenging.

2) I continued to workout in my living room even though everyone was awake and moving around.  Usually the second that someone in the house woke up and started moving my direction, I would stop the video and call it a day.  I guess it's out of embarrassment... I'm sure it's not a pretty sight watching me grunt my way through a work-out video.  But this morning I just said to myself "You're doing this for you.  This is your family.  They love you even at your pinkest and sweatiest and you need to finish this!"  And I did!  Lucy stole my hand weights a couple times and I had to push Pokemon cards out of my way, but I did it!

Don't let a bad day or night or conversation or whatever keep you from accomplishing your goals.  It's bad enough to have a rough night, but don't add to it the guilt of not completing a task.  Not to mention you WILL feel better if you move.  Even if it's just a brisk walk around the block.  Get up, dress up, and show up!!

Working hard or hardly working?

So 10 hour work days being stuck to a desk and computer kinda stink when it comes to trying to be more active.  Fortunately I only do 3 a week, but still.  After my workout on Sunday, with it's squats and lunges galore, I found sitting at a desk today very difficult... let me rephrase.  I found standing up after sitting at a desk all day very difficult.  And I was doing a project that required continued focus and concentration, so getting up repeatedly to walk it off wasn't really possible.  I did manage to get out at lunch and take a 20 minute walk, enjoy the sunshine and slightly cooler weather.  That was nice.

However, my dilemma stands: how can I keep myself more active while sitting at a desk for 10 hours?  I share a cube with a friend and my boss's office is right outside so if I push my chair all the way back I can see her sitting at her desk.  Some of the suggestions I've read online finish by saying "And what do you care?  No one can see you!"  Not true!  3 people can see me, plus the countless number of people that visit me during the day for one reason or another.... I need some less-conspicuous ideas that will yield positive results.

Since I don't think my office will invest in this for me...


I guess I'll have to find another way.

Most of the ideas given involve stretching, stepping away from your computer every 30 minutes, or clenching your tushy.  Alright, I guess these aren't terrible, but have you ever tried to concentrate, I mean REALLY concentrate on what you're reading whilst clenching your butt?  Not an easy feat!

I'm toying with the idea of using a yoga ball instead of a chair.  I've done this at home and liked it, but I've never used one at work.  Strange looks at work don't bother me TOO much, I wasn't too embarrassed a couple weeks ago when a patient wheeled into my cube to see me trying on a red bandana and a child-sized eye patch with a Jolly Roger on it.  I'm more worried about getting distracted and falling off...... that would be harder to live down than pretending to be a pirate.

Anyway, I figured I'd share some ideas I found on the LiveStrong website. I'm going to try them this week, at the risk of looking silly... but hey!  When I look and feel awesome because I didn't let my desk-job get me down, who cares how silly I looked while getting there!

For your reading pleasure...

Upper Arms And Back

To tone the muscles in your upper arms and back, sit up straight in your chair. Bend arms at a 90-degree angle and pull your elbows in to your waist, pulling your shoulder blades together. With your hands out to your sides, make small circles as if you are waxing a surface on each side of you. Do this for 20 seconds, then reverse the circles. Repeat three times.

Abdominal Exercises

To strengthen abdominal muscles while sitting, the University of California at Los Angeles suggests sitting in your chair with your back supported. As you inhale, tighten your abdomen as if you were about to be punched. Hold for a count of 15 seconds and repeat five times.

The reverse situp can help strengthen your abs and arms. Stand in front of your chair and reach behind you to grab hold of the armrests. Take a step forward until your body is diagonal from your chair. Bending your knees, slowly sit in the chair, stopping about one inch from the seat. Lift hips back to starting position and repeat 15 to 20 times.

Gluteus Maximus Exercises

Isometric exercises use one muscle to work the other. In this exercise, use the powerful gluteus maximus muscles against each other to tone the buttocks. Squeeze your buttocks together as tightly as you can for a count of 10 and release. Repeat eight times, several times a day.

Thigh Muscles

To tone and strengthen thigh muscles, sit at the edge of your chair. Stand up straight and return to a sitting position, but do not put your full weight back into your chair. Stand up again and repeat eight times. Hold the edge of your desk for added support.

I like to move it, move it!

Good morning!  This morning I woke up and felt like I wanted to do some sculpting.  I have an old video, Turbo Sculpt by Beach Body, that has always made me so sore that I never did it more than a few times before moving onto something else.  I decided I will do this at least once a week and stick to it this time.  After all, if it's making me sore it's probably because it's working.  I do have to invest in some 2 or 3 lb weights, though, because the 5's were just too much for me today.  I'll build up to them eventually.

So after 45 minutes of squatting and lunging while working my shoulders, arms, and chest I decided instead of sitting down and eating breakfast I would go for a walk.  I attempted to go down the stairs of my apartment building and my legs were so wobbly that I thought I was going to roll head over heels right down the stairs!  Apparently the video worked!  Very carefully I descended and went out into the beautiful fresh air.

My outer thighs must be the weakest part of my legs because they were shaking during my entire walk.  And this walk, which is usually pretty easy even at a very brisk pace, was a challenge because of how fatigued my muscles were.  But if felt great and by the end my legs were thanking me for walking it off and I felt proud of the work I put in.

Some friends on Facebook gave me some tips to help with my functional dilemmas I experienced during my first run/walk yesterday that I tested out a little this morning.

1) I took only the keys I would need to get back into my apartment, tied them into my shoelace and then tucked them into the cross-laces.  So quick and easy, didn't cost a thing, and my keys didn't jingle or dig into me at all!

2) I put my hair in a low pony tail and pinned my bangs at the top of my head.  The loose pony tail was driving me crazy, so I braided it!  Problem solved and I didn't once think about what my hair was doing while I was working out.

I already am feeling the positive effects of this blog, by the way.  I feel like I am accountable because there are people watching my progress but I also feel like I have my own personal cheer-leaders pushing me along.  Even during my workout I'm thinking of you guys and am excited to give a positive report and every time I go to eat something I think "Will this help me towards my goal or set me back?"  Thank you so much for the support over the last couple days, it means more than you know!  Please keep reading, keep me in check, and if anyone is so inspired, join me and fill me in on your progress!  I would love to hear how you are doing and we can feed off of each other's good vibes and positive results!

Positivity

Thought I would just share that I had a good day today, probably one of the better ones I have had in a while.  Feeling optimistic and hopeful and like this is the start of a brand new chapter in my life.  Found this quote today that sums up how I feel... I think it's my new motto:

“You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”

 Ralph Marston 

Anyway, sweet dreams for a sweeter tomorrow.

"Test Run"

This morning I went out for my first real run/walk since Lucy was born (I've "tried" it before, but in all honesty I wasn't giving it my all- I haven't given it my all since before I got pregnant with her which was almost 3 years ago!).  I decided instead of going around my apartment complex like I have been, for my first run I wanted less witnesses and passersby for my huffing and puffing, so I went to one of the bike trails that are mostly covered in a canopy of trees.  Apparently this was exactly what I needed!  I felt inspired and free in my nature cocoon.

I started off with my original plan of Walking 4 minutes, Running 1 minute.  I walked for 4 minutes to warm up, took a deep breath, and started running.  The first minute was rough.  By the end of it my lungs burned and my heart pounded out of my chest.  I began walking again, keeping track of time until the 4 minutes ended and it was time to repeat it.

Funny thing is, I got to the end of 2 minutes of walking and my body was itching to run again.  So I did and when the minute ended I felt good, so I continued for another minute.  Alright... so 2 minutes was apparently my limit.  I began walking again, got to the end of 2 minutes and again my body wanted to run.  This time I decided I was going to push as hard as I could and see how long I lasted.  I'm absolutely sure that how I felt in my head was not how I looked, but I didn't care.  I booked it!  For 1.5 minutes I ran as fast as I could and it was awesome!  Man how my body had been craving this!  And if you don't believe in muscle memory, you are dead wrong because my body remembered running posture, foot placement, breathing, everything!  I felt like a little kid sprinting through those trees, my feet pounding the pavement... I kid you not, I started giggling!  It was great!

I started walking again, almost skipping, for about 1.5 minutes and then did it again.  The freedom and exhilaration I felt was amazing and so worth the burning in my lungs.  I repeated my freedom run a few more times, then went back to my car, stretched my calves out, and went home, drenched in sweat and ready to start my day.

Now, I realized I'm going to need a few things to make my runs easier/better than the one this morning.  When I used to run during the Spring/Fall/Winter, I had pockets, and when I ran during the summer I didn't use sunglasses or music (I don't know how I did that).  I need:

1) Sunglasses that stay in place while running.
2) Ear buds that stay in place.
3) Something to keep my keys and iPod in.
4) Hair ties that stay in!  (When I used to run I had much shorter hair, but my hair is half-way down my back now and the weight of it is pulling it right out of the hair tie!)
5) Something to track time and distance.
6) A great running playlist!

My top picks from my playlist this morning were:
1) "Don't Hold Back" -The Sleeping
2) "Wake The Sun" - The Matches
3) "Propane Nightmares" - Pendulum

 If anybody out there, especially you experienced runners, have any tips on products to look at (hopefully not too expensive) or music to try out, please let me know!

Overall, I would call this morning a success.  And the great thing is that my body is also craving healthy fuel this morning not junk!  Win-Win!

FlyLady: Body Clutter

For anyone who has a very negative self-image and is struggling with the the difference between losing weight because you hate the way you look and losing weight because you want to be healthy and happy, this book is great! 

It's from FlyLady.net.  I ordered it a couple months ago.  It is a little long-winded at times and kind of cheesy (anyone who is familiar with FlyLady will understand why).  But the concepts are simple, and it forces you to look at the reasons why you put on the weight in the first place, and then brings you to a point of making changes because you care about yourself, not because you hate yourself.  Whenever I've made changes out of self-loathing they have not lasted and I've ended up hating myself even more at the other side of it.  This book helps you take baby steps with small, sustainable changes towards loving your body for what it is and treating it right. 

Check it out, and while you're at it, check out FlyLady's website if you aren't familiar with it.  It's a great place to find motivation and easy small changes to becoming more organized and sane.  Definitely worth a glance, especially for you perfectionists out there.