Emotional Resilience

So, I'm starting to take care of my body, and I'm feeling a lot better in many ways.  However, my underlying emotional issues are going to continue to hold me back unless I know how to take care of them.  And they're going to keep getting in the way of my physical well-being, too!  I've decided that while I'm creating my buns of steel, I need to work a little on my emotions of steel, too!

I found an article on this subject that had some good pointers.  The article describes an emotionally healthy person having:

• A sense of contentment.
• A zest for living and the ability to laugh and have fun.
• The ability to deal with stress and bounce back from adversity.
• A sense of meaning and purpose, in both their activities and their relationships.
• The flexibility to learn new things and adapt to change.
• A balance between work and play, rest and activity, etc.
• The ability to build and maintain fulfilling relationships.
• Self-confidence and high self-esteem.

I really only have some of these things in moderation and others I seem to only have a pinch here, a dash there.  That's not right!  I should be enjoying my life!  What am I doing wrong?  Or what am I not doing right?

The article goes on to illustrate ways to improve your mental health.

"Physical Health is linked to Emotional Well-Being:

• Get enough rest. To have good mental and emotional health, it’s important to take care of your body. That includes getting enough sleep. Most people need seven to eight hours of sleep each night in order to function optimally.
• Learn about good nutrition and practice it. The subject of nutrition is complicated and not always easy to put into practice. But the more you learn about what you eat and how it affects your energy and mood, the better you can feel.
• Exercise to relieve stress and lift your mood. Exercise is a powerful antidote to stress, anxiety, and depression. Look for small ways to add activity to your day, like taking the stairs instead of the elevator or going on a short walk. To get the most mental health benefits, aim for 30 minutes or more of exercise per day.
• Get a dose of sunlight every day. Sunlight lifts your mood, so try to get at least 10 to 15 minutes of sun per day. This can be done while exercising, gardening, or socializing.
• Limit alcohol and avoid cigarettes and other drugs. These are stimulants that may unnaturally make you feel good in the short term, but have long-term negative consequences for mood and emotional health."

That explains why I've felt a boost in my mood over the last week and a half.  Although I still have to work on getting enough rest.  Something to think about.

"Improve Mental and Emotional Health by Taking Care of Yourself:

• Do things that positively impact others. Being useful to others and being valued for what you do can help build self-esteem.
• Practice self-discipline. Self-control naturally leads to a sense of hopefulness and can help you overcome despair, helplessness, and other negative thoughts.
• Learn or discover new things. Think of it as “intellectual candy”. Try taking an adult education class, join a book club, visit a museum, learn a new language, or simply travel somewhere new.
• Enjoy the beauty of nature or art. Studies show that simply walking through a garden can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. The same goes for strolling through a park or an art gallery, hiking, admiring architecture, or sitting on a beach.
• Manage your stress levels. Stress takes a heavy toll on mental and emotional health, so it’s important to keep it under control. While not all stressors can be avoided, stress management strategies can help you bring things back into balance.
• Limit unhealthy mental habits like worrying. Try to avoid becoming absorbed by repetitive mental habits – negative thoughts about yourself and the world that suck up time, drain your energy, and trigger feelings of anxiety, fear, and depression.
• Appeal to your senses. Stay calm and energized by appealing to the five senses: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Listen to music that lifts your mood, place flowers where you will see and smell them, massage your hands and feet, or sip a warm drink.
• Engage in meaningful, creative work. Do things that challenge your creativity and make you feel productive, whether or not you get paid for it – things like gardening, drawing, writing, playing an instrument, or building something in your workshop.
• Get a pet. Yes, pets are a responsibility, but caring for one makes you feel needed and loved. There is no love quite as unconditional as the love a pet can give. Animals can also get you out of the house for exercise and expose you to new people and places.
• Make leisure time a priority. Do things for no other reason than that it feels good to do them. Go to a funny movie, take a walk on the beach, listen to music, read a good book, or talk to a friend. Doing things just because they are fun is no indulgence. Play is an emotional and mental health necessity.
• Make time for contemplation and appreciation. Think about the things you’re grateful for. Mediate, pray, enjoy the sunset, or simply take a moment to pay attention to what is good, positive, and beautiful as you go about your day."

Well, probably not getting a pet anytime soon.... maybe a fish.  I do feel better when I'm playing the piano and singing. But I could definitely use some of these other little gems in my life.

"Connect With Others:

• Get out from behind your TV or computer screen. Screens have their place but they will never have the same effect as an expression of interest or a reassuring touch. Communication is a largely nonverbal experience that requires you to be in direct contact with other people, so don’t neglect your real-world relationships in favor of virtual interaction. 
• Spend time daily, face-to-face, with people you like. Make spending time with people you enjoy a priority. Choose friends, neighbors, colleagues, and family members who are upbeat, positive, and interested in you. Take time to inquire about people you meet during the day that you like.
• Volunteer. Doing something that helps others has a beneficial effect on how you feel about yourself. The meaning and purpose you find in helping others will enrich and expand your life. There is no limit to the individual and group volunteer opportunities you can explore. Schools, churches, nonprofits, and charitable organization of all sorts depend on volunteers for their survival.
• Be a joiner. Join networking, social action, conservation, and special interest groups that meet on a regular basis. These groups offer wonderful opportunities for finding people with common interests – people you like being with who are potential friends."

Now this is something that is a challenge for me.  As someone who was born trying to hide behind her mother's leg, I have struggled my whole life to overcome my innate shyness.  It's hard!  Anyone who doesn't have this particular set-back will never understand how debilitating and frustrating it can be!  I've gotten better since growing up and getting into the work force.  But socializing outside of work is a definite struggle for me.  It's easier to hermit.  But I would probably feel so much better if I got out and met new people and experienced new things with those new people.  That will be a challenge for me, but I think I can do it.

For anyone out there who is reading this post and feeling like they relate to the issues here far too well, I will also include a little warning they added at the end, in red... so it must be important.
   
Red flag feelings and behaviors that may require immediate attention:

• Inability to sleep.
• Feeling down, hopeless, or helpless most of the time.
• Concentration problems that are interfering with your work or home life.
• Using nicotine, food, drugs, or alcohol to cope with difficult emotions.
• Negative or self-destructive thoughts or fears that you can’t control.
• Thoughts of death or suicide.

If you are experiencing these things, please get help.  Mental health is no joke and having the above feelings are nothing to feel embarrassed about.  You are not the only one, and you are not alone.

Anyway *stepping off my soapbox*... I've been noticing a lot of people posting about stress, unhappiness, feeling tired for no reason.  And since I know those feelings well, I thought I would share this for anyone who is looking for a way out. 

"No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, & show up!"  And like my father-in-law used to say "Get up, look up, be up!"