I've recently had a personal epiphany. It opened my eyes, opened my heart, and reopened the hope inside myself in a way that I never thought possible. I won't go into details, some of you already know them. The details aren't as important as the way I've been feeling over the last month.
Anyone who has known me for a long time knows that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, more informally known as the Mormon church and not to be confused with the Fundamental LDS church who still practice polygamy (think Big Love and Sister Wives- yeah... not us). I was baptized into this church 20 years ago when I was 8 years old and I have known of it's truthfulness for most of my life. If you love me and trust me and would like to know more about what I believe in, please do not just Google "Mormons"- check out this site:
http://mormon.org/
Anyone who has known me more recently, over the last 6 years or so, may not know this about me. I have been floundering for a long time. For some reason, and to be completely honest with you I no longer remember what those reasons were, I thought I could find true happiness outside of the plain and simple truths that I once held so tightly to. Over the years, reading self-help books, starting countless diets, and attempting to live with a positive mental attitude, I have found moments of peace. Moments of happiness. But as most moments are these were fleeting, and when they left the residue was a sense of hopelessness and a feeling that I would never be able to find true and everlasting happiness.
The saddest part is that I already knew where to find this happiness, but I had hardened my heart to the plain and simple truths that I knew. I still believed in the gospel, but I didn't USE it, I didn't put it into action in my life. Faith without action doesn't work, it doesn't survive, it's useless. Faith isn't just believing, it's doing and living. Faith is alive.
So a little over a month ago I had a spiritual awakening like I had never before had in my life. I suddenly realized the power of building a relationship with our Father in Heaven. I felt a rush of love and happiness and mercy like never before and I KNEW that God was listening and that He loved me. This is the most important thing that anyone can realize- that there is a loving Father in Heaven who knows us each by name and wants nothing more than for us to reach out to Him for help and guidance so that someday we may return to live with Him. This I know to be true with every fiber of my being. And through prayer I have been strengthening this knowledge and also my relationship with God and He has been blessing me and giving me guidance at every turn. None of us are insignificant in His eyes. Parents out there, think about the way you feel about your children. Don't you want them to have every chance at happiness? Wouldn't you give them mercy and understanding when they've struggled or made mistakes? Don't you want them to come to you with questions or heartaches so that you might fill them up and comfort them? So it is with our Father in Heaven, and it is up to each of us to let Him into our lives so that He can be the parent we need.
The power of prayer is not to be underestimated. When you are praying you are speaking directly to a nurturing, powerful confidant who is ready and waiting to bless us. When I have had questions, some of the answers have come so easily, so quickly that it makes me laugh out of joy at how plainly the Lord has come to me. Other questions do not have such easy answers, but I have faith that when I'm ready He'll give those answers to me.
For a long time I tried to find happiness in the world. But I have learned recently that true happiness cannot come from the world. Peace cannot come from the world. True joy and peace comes only from building a relationship of trust and love with our Heavenly Father. If you have been struggling to find peace, I'm begging you to find a quiet place, right now. Even if it is in your bathroom with the door locked and fan on for white noise. Find a quiet place right now, get down on your knees, and pray to your Father in Heaven. He knows who you are, He knows what you're struggling with. He alone knows what is truly in your heart and in your head and He will give you the answers you need in the way that you need them.
Do not waste another moment floundering among the things of this world because you will not find your peace there. All you have to do is to watch the evening news to know that this is true. Go find your quiet place and open your heart to the Heavens and they will rain down the peace and joy you have been looking for. Life will not be easy and it will never be perfect. There will be money problems, sicknesses, wars, and heartaches. But you can find your peace even among these, I promise. The circumstances of my life are no different today than they were over a month ago, but I have this amazing sense of peace and purpose like never before, and I found it only through prayer.
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